Road to Recovery
by LeadAntagonist
Summary: Age 14 is when I started experimenting with drugs, and at age 15 is when my experimentation evolved into something I couldn't control. At age 16 I was a full on addict, and at age 17 I went to rehab. Now I am an 18 year old recovering addict. I have no friends, no home, and no reason to live. But I will find a reason to keep going, if there is such a thing...
1. Experimentation

**In case it isn't obvious, I am in no way shape or form, the owner of any percentage of Naruto. So don't sue me! I am broke enough as it is!**

It was around age 14 I believe, when I first started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. I don't remember what made me start, I don't know if it was peer pressure, or just plain curiosity. I know for sure that it wasn't because I was lonely or bullied or some pathetic reasons like that, because at age 14, I had lots of friends in my eight grade class.

Hmmm, maybe it was peer pressure, I remember hanging out with my group of friends behind the school gym, one of us had somehow scored some weed, and we were nervously trying to figure out how exactly to light it. My friend Kimimaro was trying to light the joint in his hand, and quickly pull it to his lips before the spark died out, he failed multiple times of course, but once he finally got a puff, the nervous air of the group seemed to intensify as it would soon be time for everyone to take that first puff of weed, before long the joint made its way around to me, and gingerly I took it from the outstretched hand of the nervous teenager who handed it to me. I hesitated for a moment; suddenly I was a whole hell of a lot more nervous now than I was when a moment ago when I was just watching the other smoke. I stared at the joint as if it were a ticking time bomb, and I honestly contemplated passing it on, and pussing out, but of course as fate would have it, that peer pressure I eluded to earlier came and kicked me in the ass.

"C'mon Tayuya, hurry up before it goes out." Kimimaro pushed a very obvious bite of annoyance in his voice. Understandably of course we all remember how long it took him to get this thing lit up in the first place, no one felt like watching that again. So without another moment of hesitation, I pressed the joint to my lip, cringing slightly at the wetness on the end of it, I cursed inwardly swearing to slug whoever the owner of this saliva was before I inhaled.

To be perfectly honest, I expected a plethora of things to happen, the instant I took that first hit. I expected to be overcome with a fit of watery eyed coughing, that would get me ridiculed by my friends, I expected to instantly go light headed, and to have the world around me morph and start to move in slow motion, I mean that's what happened in the movies right? The character would smoke the weed, cough a bit, and then go off on some trippy adventure, which would start their spiral of drug abuse.

Well none of that happened, I inhaled, exhaled, Inhaled again, and then passed the weed onto my friend Temari, who pressed it to her mouth instantly, her courage seemingly coming from her nervousness and not actual eagerness to smoke weed. I saw her eyes dart to me in a bit of a scowl, she probably noticed how wet the joint was, I raised my hands slightly, letting her know that it wasn't me, and with a roll of her eyes, she inhaled and was instantly overcome with a fit of coughing. The others laughed at her of course, bashing her for having "Virgin lungs" which was dumb because we were all as green as she was. However, despite the ruckus laughter from the group, I didn't laugh, Temari was coughing, and as she took another, more stable pull at the blunt, I began to wonder if she would be going off on that adventure I had imagined, alone. Would she be the sole inheritor of this experience that I was aching for?

In short no, none of this got any kind of high from the weed we smoked, though we pretended we were, poorly of course, but hey! We had fun at least.

**A/N **First chapter of my first story out of the way, novice writer here, so if you see something that you don't like, be nice about it, I am a very sensitive antagonist.


	2. Little green pill

**In case it isn't obvious, I am in no way shape or form, the owner of any percentage of Naruto. So don't sue me! I am broke enough as it is!**

Freshman year is when I really started using, smoking weed had become somewhat a norm amongst my group of friends from middle school, as well as getting drunk, Sasuke's older brother had no trouble scoring us beer whenever we could fork up the cash. But getting drunk and smoking weed was becoming boring for us; we all wanted to try something new, well some of us did, ok it was only me. Everyone was ok with just smoking and drinking, I wanted more; I know that there had to be something better out there, and so I went and searched, I had heard of a junior who was selling an ecstasy pill, for $5 bucks, and he was easily pointed out to me.

It was a single pill, in a full sized Ziploc sandwich bag, it was greenish, from some sort of dye I assumed, because it seemed to have melted and was staining the plastic bag. I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I bought this pill, It looked fake, not that I have ever seen an ecstasy pill before, but in the movies, the pills looked more…clean, bright white with a cutesy little logo on it, not to mention the pills usually looked a whole hell of a lot less sketchy.

_ But that's your problem isn't it Tayuya, this isn't a fucking movie, this is real life, things are going to be a lot more gritty out here._

Since I know that this is real life, and that a drug like this could probably kill me, I decided that it would be best if I had someone supervise me while I took this pill, and I decided that the best person for the job would be my closet friend Temari. Temari was a smart girl, she was the only one in my old group of friend who didn't fall in love with getting high or drunk, and instead chose to distance herself from all that stuff. I respected her from being so level headed, and being able to ignore all the peer pressure stick to her guns. Weird huh? That I would find someone who didn't want to do drugs, smart, and admire that attribute. If I found that trait so admirable then why is it that I don't try and be clean like her?

I had no answer for that question, though Temari did agree to watch over me while I popped this green pill. I told my parents that I would be sleeping over at Temari's that night, as an extra precaution, because I had no idea if I would be stable enough to come home that night, after taking this pill, and staying at Temari's was normal for me, her being my best friend and all.

So there we were in Temari's room, me showing the pill to her, still in its stained baggy and her hugging her knees nervously. I mean really, she was more nervous than I was and she wasn't the one about to take the pill. "Chill out Temari, it's just a little pill, nothing is going to happen." I said with a reassuring smile, of course I was talking out my ass, I didn't know what to expect from this pill and truthfully I was started to regret buying it, but I couldn't tell Temari that, she would try to talk me out of it and I would let her, and I would be out five bucks that could of gotten me some weed.

So I took the green pill out of the bag, it rough texture staining my fingers green. I looked at it, letting out a small shaky breath before flashing Temari another smile, faking more bravado as I said "Bottoms up" and pop the pill in my mouth, and instantly froze. Was I supposed to chew it, or swallow? Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!

"What's wrong?" Temari asked, leaning towards me, her eyes wide with worry, she looked to her phone, as if she were ready to call 911, and I quickly grabbed her arm, to stop her from doing anything stupid. "Chill, I just…." I paused and decided to swallow the pill, It wasn't a damn Flintstones tablet, there was no way it was supposed to be chewed. "It just tasted _horrible_" I admitted making a face to accentuate my point. Temari breathed a very heavy sigh of relief, the signs of worry slowly leaving her face, replaced by genuine relief. It was a bit surprising really, yea she was my friend, but it was like she was worried that I was on the verge of dropping dead at any moment.

Maybe I should have paid more attention to the signs, maybe I should have done a lot of things, but what's the point of thinking about what I should of done, when now it is far too late right?

**A/N** YEAH! Second chapter! To the single person whom may be reading this, don't worry the back story coverage won't be going on for much longer, soon we will get into the brunt of the story, I promise.


	3. The Upsides The Downsides

**In case it isn't obvious, I am in no way shape or form, the owner of any percentage of Naruto. So don't sue me! I am broke enough as it is!**

"How do you feel?" Temari asked, still looking a bit nervous, she had her hands clasped together and was wringing them together kind of roughly. I wanted to tell her to chill out again, but telling her to do so was getting kind of redundant. So instead I just decided to answer her question.

"I don't know." I said truthfully, really I wasn't feeling much of anything, nothing at all which all things considered was a bad thing. It meant that the $5 bucks I gave to that dude was for some stupid, nasty, green tablet that didn't deliver. "Fuck." I groaned, not bothering to hide my disappointment. I was also slightly peeved to see that Temari seemed rather relieved, like she was happy that the pill had been a fake, and while I could see why she would be glad that she wouldn't have to babysit her friend who was high off some pill, it still wouldn't hurt for her to at least appear to be as disappointed as I am.

"Well now what?" I asked, my brow still furrowed in stubborn frustration. I wasn't going to let this go, unless I was distracted by something, and as my best friend, it was officially Temari's job to distract me.

"Wellllllllll…" Temari started out, dragging the L's in a way that she knew would annoy me in my current state, but after seeing the expression on my face she decided that maybe she should stop teasing me, so instead of keeping up her antagonizing she offered up a movie, some old war film that I seemed to have missed while I was growing up. I gave a shrug, I was going to be here all night anyway "Alright then, I'll go grab us some snacks, be back in a sec."

"Alright" I said, with a sigh leaning back on her bed, briefly running my hands through my natural red hair before pulling at the single bang that hung down my forehead.

I began devising some half assed plan to get back at the junior who had ripped me off, I would definitely recognize his face if I saw him again, though to be perfectly honest, I knew that there was nothing much I could do at all. Sure I could try and get violent, but with me being a relatively small girl, that could easily back fire on me, maybe if I was tall like Temari, I could be more intimidating, and maybe just maybe…

Why can I hear my heart beating?

My train of thought sapped as I realized that I heard a loud throbbing sound resonating throughout my head. I sat up quickly and pressed my hand to my chest hurriedly and without a shadow of a doubt, it was in fact my own heart, and it was beating way too fast. The first thing that came to my mind was panic, I didn't want too. Suddenly my quickened heart beat wasn't such a problem, I felt…..good, really, really, good. Fantastic in fact. Hell I wanted to get up and start dancing

I had to get u and do something! Tell someone! "Temari!" My mind shouted, I decided instantly with wide eyed clarity that my best friend should be the first to know of this incredible new state of higness that I have just achieved

"What?" A voice behind me sounded so suddenly that if I wasn't walking on drug induced sunshine right now, that I may have jumped out of my skin.

Instead I whirled around quickly, -a little too quickly- and locked my sights on Temari, swaying a little bit, off balance. "Temari!" I shouted happily aloud this time, noticing the miscellaneous snacks and beverages that she had in her hands.

"You already said that." Temari said, slowly. She had this weird look on her face, and if I wasn't so blasted I probably would have noticed that the look on her face was one of worry and concerned. But in my current state, she just looked funny, so much so that I had to giggle at her. "I didn't say that!" I said still laughing at her.

"You did." Was her simple reply, she placed the snacks on her desk, scrutinizing me closely.

"No I didn't!" I argued my brow furrowing a bit, I noticed that I was leaning slightly to the side to try to straighten myself out, only to realize that I was now leaning over in the opposite direction. I decided that the best move for me would be to sit down on Temari's bed, which did nothing for my equilibrium I was still tilting over in a seated position.

"You're high." Temari breathed, It wasn't a question. I grinned like a fool and nodded vehemently. "YES! Yes I am, and it feels great!" I was practically yelling now, and Temari's eyes went wide and she raised her finger to her lip trying to shush me "What?" I asked just as loudly, only to be rushed, her hand clamping itself securely around my mouth, quieting me down.

"Shut up, you're gonna wake my parents!" She yelled, her eyes going a bit wide, that did it. Her wide eyed glance was a bit much and I lost it, I couldn't help but laugh at her, very loudly, even with her hand pressed over my mouth, my muffled laughter was probably still loud enough to be heard by her sleeping parents. That and I was probably soaking her hand with spit, that thought was confirmed when she made another face pulling her hand away from my mouth and wiping it on her pants leg

I put both my hands to my mouth to replace hers as I tried to hide the fact that I was enjoying quite a laugh at her expense.

"Fucking fantastic Tayuya!" She grumbled clearly irritated with me. I struggled to get my laughter under control "Look who's being loud now." I teased a very satisfied grin on my face. Temari shot daggers at me with her eyes; I ducked my head smiling at her sheepishly like a kid with her hand stuck in the cookie jar.

"You'd yell too if someone just _slobbered_ all over your hand." Temari retorted with rolling her dull green eyes at me. But I was still unabashed and still wore this huge 'shit-eating' grin "It just means I'm attracted to you." I jested hoping to get a reaction out of her, which I did she blushed crimson at my comment turning her head away and sputtering very obviously caught off guard "W-What are you talking about? Tha-…."

"Dance with me!" I cut her off with my request; well it was more of a demand. I could see instantly that my demand had caught her off guard, because she fixed me with a look that told me that she thought that I was out of my mind. "I need to move around, do something; I'll go crazy if I just sit here!" I was yelling again, but it wasn't on purpose. I just didn't feel that she would get my point if I was speaking at max volume.

Temari's green eyes shot to her door again as if she were worried that her parents would burst in at any minute. "Fine! Just keep it down." She whispered a bit roughly. I grinned triumphantly and grabbed a hold of her and for the next hour or so I swung her around her room, doing my best to not topple us over, or destroy anything. I did a horrible job.

The next morning I woke up sick, very sick and I ended up spending most of the morning throwing up in Temari's Toilet while her mother contacted my parents. I knew it was the ecstasy coming back to kick me in the ass, but I just told a lie about how I was feeling a bit queasy the night before, and that the vomiting was probably just a side effect of that. Too easy.

I lay in Temari's bed while I waited for my parents to show up so that they can take me home, I felt like shoveled shit and Temari was doing little to make me feel better.

"You look like shit." She said as she looked over me, a bit of a smug grin on her face. I glared at her, I knew that I was in for some taunting, but I had expected her to hold off until I was feeling a bit better. No such luck.

"I know Temari, I feel like shit." I groaned, I wasn't going to take her bait hopefully she would just let me suffer in peace.

"I know, but I just thought you would like me to confirm that you do indeed look like shit. Guess that's a lesson learned, huh? Don't do drugs, right?"

I simply moaned in response, I was definitely never going to do something like this again, I was just going to stick to weed from now on, it wasn't worth it, sure the high was nice while it lasted but if I was always going to have to deal with this kind of recovery period I would rather stay sober. "Shut up Temari." I grumbled, I know I said I wouldn't take her bait, but fuck taking the high road. I wasn't going to take this laying down, as long as my stomach didn't say otherwise.

"What? I was just saying you do-"She started, a huge grin on her face but I cut her off quickly "Say 'You look like shit again' I dare you, I double dare you!" I challenged as I sat up way to quickly, my stomach churning causing me to instantly regret my quick movements as I moaned and laid back down. Temari must have felt some sympathy for me in my pathetic state because she reached out and placed her hand on mine. "You did learn your lesson right? You aren't gonna try this again?" She asked, I looked over at her a bit drowsily, but I could still see that was worried about me. She had never asked me to stop before, but I guess that was because before all I was doing was smoking weed and drinking. Even when she quit smoking and getting drunk, she didn't judge me for carrying on that tradition with the others. But I guess popping that pill last night, was stepping into an element that may be too much for her to stand by and watch.

"Yea, I'm done, it was fun and all, but this vomiting shit is for the birds." I said with a sigh, it was nice to see Temari smile at my words, knowing that I didn't let her down.

"Yuya?" Temari's voice sounded suddenly, snapping me out of the light trance I had fallen in.

"Hm?" Was my short answer, I realized with much trepidation that Temari was wearing a very nervous expression and it made me wonder exactly what she wanted to ask me now.

"Last night you said something to me, and I just wanted to know if you were serious." Was her very vague reply, I furrowed my brow a bit, trying to recall what one specific thing I could of said last that would warrant a question like that, but I came up blank. "I said lots of things last night Temari, you need to be more specific." I said, sitting up slowly on my elbows, to look at her.

"Well….." She started clearly nervous, she was looking down at her clasped hands and she was blushing. "It was nothing really, it's not important!" She rushed out. My jaw dropped, there was no way in hell she thought I was going to buy that and just let this drop. But as fate would have it, I wouldn't have much of a chance to push the issue. Because Temari's mother called up to us that my parents had arrived and that it was time for me to head home.

I looked over at Temari, trying to see if she would spill the beans before I headed out, but she was very obviously going to keep her lips sealed. Whatever, I would just get it out of her later.

Of course I had no way of telling that, that day would be the last chance I would get to talk to Temari, I didn't keep my promise. I wasn't done experimenting like I thought I was. I was still hooked, I loved the feel way too much to quit now, and I wasn't going to stop at pills. So rather than have Temari see how far I have fallen, I just decided to cut my ties with her all together. What a fool I was.

**A/N Longer chapter finally, should only be one more chapter of back story before we can get into the actual story. So hooray for that!**

**Yea so I have never done ecstasy before, so I have no clue what it is like to be high off of it. Hope I wasn't too far off the mark. Blame my mother for keeping me away from drugs!**


	4. A cry for help

**In case it isn't obvious, I am in no way shape or form, the owner of any percentage of Naruto. So don't sue me! I am broke enough as it is!**

"OH MY GOD WE'VE BEEN ROBBED!"

"What?!"

I was awakened by the sound of my mother's distressed cries and my fathers angered responses. I had a horrible feeling about this.

"How do you know? What did they take?"

I knew exactly what the "burglars" had taken, and that realization was suddenly making me feel very, very sick.

"My purse has been moved, and there is forty dollars missing!" My mother exclaimed. Of course she would know, my mother was always able to tell you how much money she had on her, down to the exact cent. Call it a super power.

"Only forty? Are you didn't spend it on accident?" My father asked.

I could hear that he was a bit skeptical to the notion of someone breaking into the house just to snatch forty bucks out of my mother's purse. However no more than a moment later I could hear him recanting his last statement.

"Never mind." I could almost picture him holding his hands up in surrender. "Should we ask Tayuya?" He added a second later.

Fear gripped me at that very instant; I had to lie of course. I started to try and think up a decent lie to tell them that would make it impossible for them to accuse me of anything. However before I could come up with anything, my stomach lurched violently, and I knew that was moments away from making a very unsightly mess on my pillow so I shot to my feet as fast as I could. Too fast, it only made the nausea worse, as I stumbled towards my room door, pushing it open roughly, as I continued my drunken trek to the bathroom.

My parents were in the hall, obviously coming to ask me if I knew anything about the missing money, and in all honesty, at that moment I didn't give a fuck, they were in the way, and unless they wanted to clean vomit off of their shoes, they were going to get the fuck out of my way.

I didn't give them much of an option as I pushed passed them, a hand over my mouth to indicate to them that I didn't have time for idle chit chat. I bet I looked greener than the Hulk at that very moment, I wonder what they thought of me, because if I were them I probably would have laughed.

But that didn't matter at the time; all that mattered was that I made it to the toilet before anything got sprayed. Which I did, I managed to hold my face over the bowl as my stomach upended itself ejecting whatever it was I had ate the day before, however I did not manage to keep my some of my hair out of the path of the hydrant my mouth had become.

Ten minutes later I found myself lying out in the tub feeling miserable. Honestly I just wanted to slide under the warm water and just drowning myself. But I couldn't do that, not with my mother watching over me.

This wasn't the first time that I have had a morning like this, waking up only too puke out my guts and feel absolutely horrible for the rest of the day. I always refused to go to the hospital however. I already knew what the doctor would tell me and I did not want him to tell my parents what was _really_ wrong with me. I know that there is this thing called doctor patient confidentiality, but I wasn't going to trust my neck to a guy who makes a living off of telling people bad news

Bad news…

I looked over at my mother who was looking at my pathetic undernourished body submerged in the bath water. I wonder what she would think; she had to of known what was wrong with me. It was all too obvious. Usually I would try and cover my dwindling frame with thick clothes so that people wouldn't notice, but now that I was naked, there was no way I could hide it from her. And I could see it in her eyes, she was so worried about me, so genuinely concerned that the guilt clenched my heart in death's fiery grasp (1)

_You should tell her. She can help you!_

My mind's voice shouted at me, Help. That was something I knew I needed. But I was too afraid, I couldn't just tell her the truth, I couldn't just tell my mother that I was on drugs, and that I had run myself down into the ground.

But why couldn't I? What's the worst that could happen? What? She would disown me? Would both she and my father be so disappointed in me that they would abandon me? Is that not what I deserve? Fuck it.

"Mom?"I croaked, I sounded like a tormented soul. Like a prisoner that had been wallowing in her own misery hoping for death. How foolish of me to be so miserable over something that I have done to myself. I deserved this, what right do I have to want anyone to feel sorry for me?

"Yes Tayuya?" My mother asked, her hand moving to my wet shoulder, her hand was so warm so soothing. I looked over at her, and I could still see that concern in her eyes, as she coaxed me on with a gentle nod waiting to hear what I had to say.

"I need to tell you something." I was hesitating, dragging this on way more than I needed too. Of course I had to tell her something, why else would I call to her? But I couldn't just say it could I? I feel like this is one of those things you have to ease into. That and I was afraid of how she would react.

"Go on Tayuya, I'm listening." Came her gentle reply, that ever present concern making me feel even worse.

_Fuck me_

I placed my face in my hands; I couldn't help myself I started crying, small shakes wracking my tiny frame. "It was me; I took the money from your purse."

I had expected her to give some kind of disgusted reaction to me admitting that I had stolen from her, but no such reaction came. I uncovered my eyes to look at her, too try and read her expression, but of course she had to be so damned understanding, she couldn't just flip out like a normal parent.

"Why Tayuya?" She asked her voice was still so kind; I didn't deserve this, the tone she was using. It was being wasted on me; I was nothing but a thief and an addict but that she didn't seem to matter to her. But maybe it was just because she didn't know about the latter point, I'm pretty sure that once she found out why I stole her money, her gentle face and tone would vanish in an instant.

_Oh God_

How could I tell her this, How could I tell my mother that I was addicted to crack, Why couldn't she just guess? She had to see the signs, she _had_ too. I'm surprised she hadn't noticed the track marks on the inside of my elbows, but maybe that was because my arms were submerged in the water.

"Is someone forcing you to give them money, is it someone at school?" My mother reached, and I could hear it in her voice. She wished that this was the case, she wanted it to be something simple like a bully at school because she suspected something different, I was right. She had noticed, my mother was no fool. She just wanted to give me the benefit of the doubt, and I was going to disappoint her.

"Mom, I'm-." _Just tell her, she needs to know_.

I shook my head at that thought, I knew that. Of course she needed to fucking know, but….

_It'll make you feel better…_

That did it, as selfish as that was, I wanted to feel better.

"Mom, I've been doing-" I paused and took a shaky breath, I psyched myself up and just said it. "I'm addicted to drugs mom, I stole your money to buy drugs, and I-"

I…was crying again, feeling sorry for myself again.. "I want help, I don't want to do this anymore."

A/N sorry for the wait, but school has kidnapped my free time, BUT! I paid the ransom and now I am free.. free FREE!

(1) League of Legends reference :3

Thanks to those who have given reviews and favorites, I love you people. You give me a reason to keep writing this. ;_;

You sustain me


	5. A helping hand, or two

**In case it isn't obvious, I am in no way shape or form, the owner of any percentage of Naruto. So don't sue me! I am broke enough as it is!**

Say whatever you want about me, call me a junky an idiot or even make fun of the way I look. But you can't say that my timing isn't absolutely impeccable.

I had chosen a good time to tell my mother what I had done to myself. Junior year had just ended, I was on summer vacation, and didn't need to go to summer school, because somehow despite being on drugs I had managed to pass all my courses, Barely, my overall GPA was going to take a hit but I would live.

Now was the best time for me to go too rehab. Really it was, it wouldn't hinder anything, and it would a lot easier to keep it a secret. I don't know who exactly I would be hiding my drug abuse from, seeing as I had already deserted all of my friends but me disappearing from school completely wouldn't go unnoticed, at least I hoped I hadn't been so completely forgotten by everyone that I could just disappear and no one would care…..that would suck.

My parents were by no means rich, and while we weren't exactly struggling financially either we couldn't afford the fancy rehabilitation centers that all the celebrities went too. Nor could we afford to pay $10,000 for a quick detox procedure to help the process of getting me clean. I was going to have to do it the hard way. But that was ok, I didn't mind suffering a bit, I had tortured myself enough just so I could get a little high, if I had to endure a bit more to get clean, I felt that it was well worth it.

I was past the worst of it anyway as far as I was concerned; telling my mom and dad was probably the hardest part of this whole ordeal. Well telling my mother was rather easy, however telling my father….was a different story. I don't know how I worked up the courage to face him with this confession; it would have honestly been easier to tell him that I was pregnant. But when I did force the truth out, I could see the disappointment in his eyes almost immediately, it was like watching all his hopes and dreams that he had formulated at the moment of my conception were crushed before his very eyes. There was the disappointment and then there was the repugnant look of disgust that spread across his face soon after. Honestly I was a lot happier with that reaction, I was disgusting, and I wanted to be treated as filth, anything was better than the disappointment and the care that I was being met with.

One month, that's all it would take, and then I could get to work on repairing all of the destruction that I have caused. I will fix that disappointed look in my father's eyes, and my mother's kindness will not go to waste. It can't, or I would never be able to forgive myself.

Ok remember when I had said that the worst part of this whole ordeal was my father's disappointment?

I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied, lied, lied, lied, lied.

The detox, was not something that I had prepped myself for, I had heard tales of how hard it was to kick an addiction however I have never paid them much attention. I thought I would be stronger than other people. I thought I would be able to just kick it without an issue. But I was wrong, I had lied to myself.

The process of detoxing was long and excruciating, and I don't know how I made it through without going crazy. Well that isn't true, I'm lying again. I made it through because I had help, a young nurse who saw me through this tough time. Her name was Shizune, and I know for a fact that without her I would not have been able to hold strong.

She was the one, who watched over me when the first sign of withdrawals started to take hold of me. When I started getting chills she was there to cover me up, and when it got to hot for me to stand it, she was the one to help me feel comfortable. I know that it wasn't easy for her, it couldn't have been. I was so mean to her, a trait of withdrawal was paranoia, and it was due to that paranoia that I would accuse her of just about every dire act that I could think of.

I painted her as a killer in my mind and that this detox was her way of torturing before she killed me, she offered me medicine to help ease my burden, but whenever she came near me with the pills I slapped them out of her hand, or cursed at her harshly. I knew the pills were a trick; she was just trying to get me addicted to something else.

But even throughout all my fighting, she was still there for me.

However Shizune wasn't the only one to face my wrath. My mother and my father came to see me during the early stages of my withdrawal and it was the only time they came to see me until they were sure that I had recovered because I laid into them.

"Tayuya, how are you doing so far?" Came my mother's gentle voice, as she and my father sat across the table from me in the cafeteria of the rehabilitation center.

"Look at your mother when she speaks to you!" My father spoke very firmly, his voice showing clear signs of agitation. My eyes had been downcast, hidden behind my unkempt red hair, occasional darting from left to right as if expecting something to appear at my flanks.

"Please don't." My mother voice came again, placing a hand on my father's shoulder, obviously trying to calm him down, to keep him from saying something that would "hinder my progress". The whole notion made me sick.

"How am I feeling?" I asked, finally raising my head to look at them, glaring at each of them in turn my lips peeling back from my teeth. "You people, you…you're trying to KILLME!" I suddenly yelled, as I rose to my feet abruptly knocking over the chair I was sitting in. "This place! These people! They aren't here to help me! They are just, just killing me! AND YOU ARE LETTING THEM!" I saw the shocked gaze of my mother as she slowly raised her hands, her mouth started to form words, probably trying to calm me down, I didn't want to hear it.

"NO! SHUT UP! Don't say anything now! If you wanted me to die you should have just told me! I could have just overdosed at least I would die happy, not like his! Not…."

It took me a moment to piece together what happened next, why I was suddenly stumbling to regain my balance, why my head had jerked violently to my left, and why the right side of my face stung.

But I figured out what had happened rather quickly, I mean the signs were rather obvious, the fact that my mother was on her feet, and that her hand was still raised were tell-tale signs of me being slapped.

My parents were asked to leave after that, and I was escorted back to my room, I was later told that I was not supposed to have been able to receive visitors until I was over my withdrawal and that it had been an error on the part of the center.

Their apologies meant nothing too my sore jaw, but I did learn my lesson. I lightened up on Shizune, one slap was more than enough to teach me to be mindful of how I talked to the ones who are there to help me.

**A/N: **I had originally intended for this chapter to be longer, but it just felt right to end the chapter where I did.

I would also like to thank all those who have favorite and reviewed, it helps me to keep writing this. XD thank you, thank you, thank you!


	6. Help me, Help you

**In case it isn't obvious, I am in no way shape or form, the owner of any percentage of Naruto. So don't sue me! I am broke enough as it is!**

"So aren't you supposed to be taking us through a twelve step program? Have us state our names before talking about how drugs ruined our lives? You know? Pointless depressing shit like that?"

Karin asked the instructor a bit rudely.

It had been a week, and I was mostly past my withdrawal, at least far enough out of the process to where I didn't want to kill everyone who looked at me crossways. Now I was onto the next step so to speak. Group meetings with other recovering users, so we can talk about our problems and find a solution…I think that's what we were supposed to be doing.

Like Karin, I had been expecting to encounter a generic twelve step program but instead there was just a circle five of us all looking at each other shiftily while the instructor prompted us to introduce ourselves and "gave us the floor" to speak our minds.

And the only one speaking was Karin though I wished she would shut up, it wasn't like anything she was saying was at all useful, she was only serving to annoy me with her with her annoying voice….and stupid red hair (my hair is a different kind of red, shut up), and retarded glasses and her small eyes and her…..

Yes, despite being past the worst of my withdrawal I was still very, very irritable and I tended to regard every little annoyance by lashing out bitterly with insulting thoughts because, as I reasoned. I can be as much of a bitch as you wanted to in your mind, and as long as I don't say anything out loud, I can't get into trouble for it. So I continued to trash Karin's image.

Until another voice spoke up, a very nervous and no less annoying voice.

"M-maybe, we should give this a shot, it can't hurt can it?"

Every one turned to regard the girl who was speaking, and while most of us carried a look of overall indifference, Karin looked pissed, and the instructor…..was grinning, like a fool.

"Give it a shot? Are you stupid? How in the fuck can sitting in a circle talking with you freaks fucks actually help me?" Karin shot back, heatedly; the girl who spoke up instantly put her head down trying to avoid Karin's angered eyes.

I felt kind of bad for her; she didn't look like she would be the toughest person in any group let alone a rehabilitation center. I also felt bad for the fact that no matter how hard I tried that I couldn't remember her name or the names of anyone else in this circle for that matter. Except for Karin that is, but she had been so snappy from the moment that we all formed this little circle that it wasn't much of a surprise.

What was a surprise was the fact that the girl actually raised her head again and responded to Karin, she didn't look very brave while doing it admittedly but she did it nonetheless

"Well, it's not like you have a better idea! You're here to just like the rest of us, so it means that you want help. So you should shut up and let them help you!"

It was a bit awkward to say the least, hearing the girl respond in the way she did, but I guess she got her point across because it shut Karin up, though the red head did look even angrier than she did before.

"That's right, very good point Hinata!"

The instructor finally spoke up his voice surprisingly loud and boisterous and he looked so proud of the point that Hinata had made that it was almost as if he had made the point himself. I could tell that I wasn't the only one that was looking at this guy as if he had lost his mind.

"Um-uh. Thank you?" Came Hinata's unsure reply, she looked around at the rest of us, clearly trying to see if we were just as shocked by the instructor's random outburst as she was.

"You are all fuck ups!" He said just as adamantly and if he hadn't already caught our attention with his first outburst he definitely had our attention now. I glared at him, and his stupid bowl cut, overly bushy eyebrows and retarded grin (Yes I'm feeling petty, shut up)

"You-" Karin started her jaw locking and her eyes narrowing in anger, but before she could get her whole statement out, Bowl cut spoke up again cutting her off.

"But that's ok, really it's fine. Because if you guys really want it bad enough, one day you can all get better." He said, grinning at each of us in turn. "That's right, none of you have to be a fuck up forever, and I can help you change." He stood out of his chair and looked at each of us in turning to each of us in turn, that stupid grin still on his stupid face.

"But you all have to buy in; you all have to help me help you. Say it will me. I will let Might Guy help me!"

There was a long pause as everyone looked at each other not sure what to make of this new proposal. This wasn't what we signed up for, not at all. Or was it? We _were_ here to get help with our addiction, and while we all probably had our expectations of what was supposed to happen in rehab, we couldn't let our expectations ruin our chances. Reality was rarely going to follow in the realm of what is and is not expected, I already been taught that lesson over and over again so why was I so surprised.

"I will let Might Guy help me."

Someone spoke up out of nowhere, and I looked around to see who it was before realizing quickly that everyone was staring at me, only then did I realize that it was me who had spoken.

"Good! I see that you are ready for change, Tayuya. Say it again." Guy encouraged that huge grin still plastered on his stupid face. At this point, I would have much preferred to keep my mouth shut, hell I actually wanted to curl up in a ball and die. But what did I have to lose now? I had already put myself on the spot, refusing to speak up now would just make things even more drawn out than they need to be.

"I will let Might Guy help me." I said once again, my voice reflecting exactly how comfortable I felt with being put on the spot like this.

"Good, now how about you tell us your story, Tayuya!"

I glared at him, long and hard, wishing I had the power to melt that smirk off his face with my gaze, but he didn't falter he just kept his eyes trained on me still smiling and as much as I hated him at this very moment…. I could tell that he wasn't doing this to piss me off. He really wanted to know, and as sad as it was, I wanted him to know.

So I lowered my gaze, staring into my lap, and I spoke. "It just started with some weed when I was 14, me and a few friends just wanted to try and get high and well…..

**A/N: **Sorry it took so long, but school has recaptured me, but hey Friday marks the end of my first semester as a college student and then I am off….until…. FEBRUARY! FEBRUARY PEEPS! OMG I CAN'T WAIT.

Anyway, thanks those who have supported me so far, I love you, I really do. Will try and update soon.

Lead out


	7. How I feel

A/N ok let's make one thing clear. I do not own Naruto…nope nope nope nu uh. I give all credit to whoever the fuck it belongs to….

"You're being fucking overdramatic and it's starting to piss me off!" Karin shouted, her face contorted in a vicious scowl as her eyes began to darken. The target of her anger, Hinata seemed to have noticed that things were taking a turn for the worse and clammed up instantly averting her eyes, playing with her fingers as she began to stutter meekly.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't m-mean anything, it's just-" Before she could finish her statement Karin cut her off.

"It's just that you're being stupid!" Karin shouted leaning forward in her seat. "So what if you think your life sucks, you're miserable because you're on drugs? Join the fucking club sister; have you not noticed where you are?" Karin demanded.

This was getting bad, after I shared my story, the others followed in my example, first was Karin explaining how she had been using just about any drug she could get her hands on, how she had sold herself to random men just for a fix, she also told tales of the abortions that were a result for her carelessness.

As bad as her story sounded, I really didn't know how I should feel, I didn't know her. Hell I didn't fucking like her, she was a bitch, but she was like me….we were both idiots.

Everyone else shared a similar story, maybe a few differences in the drug of choice, but it was all the same in the end. However Hinata's story seemed to strike a chord in Karin. And now the red head was lashing out, I was beginning to wonder when Guy was going to step in and stop this but he just had his arms crossed and was watching the whole thing go down like some conscientious objector.

"Just you hate the way things are doesn't mean you KILL yourself! What's the point in that? What does that fix?" Karin asked she was breathing heavily and starting to break into a sweat. I recognized that sweaty fury, she was still suffering through the symptoms as was I.

"I-…..I" Hinata attempted to come up with a response but Karin was all to quick to cut her off and answer the question herself.

"It fixes nothing! NOT A DAMNED THING! If you're dead, your problems do not just magically disappear! What happens to your family when they find out that their daughter just went and offed herself while high on drugs? You don't think they will blame themselves? How could you be so fucking stupid?"

It was a bit surprising to say the least, to see Karin so animated about this topic, Hinata had made mention before of trying to purposely overdose and end her own life, and while she did successfully overdose on Oxycodone her brother had discovered and called 911 and saved her.

But even if Hinata had been a bit foolish in her reasoning to me there was no reason for Karin to be so upset, but maybe the red head just didn't like death, or maybe she had thought about killing herself before. Or maybe she was thinking about the babies that she had aborted, the multiple lives that she had denied, maybe that is why she was so made.

Hinata was crying now and Karin was fuming, but she didn't look like she was finished, she opened her mouth to say something else, but was cut off as Kiba Inuzuka another Oxy addict decided to speak up now "Lay off her will ya? I think she gets it, you yelling at her aint gonna fix a thing." Kiba ran a hand through his messy hair before speaking up again. "Besides, all this commotion is starting to annoy me, I thought we were here for some rehabilitation, or did I miss something?"

"How do you feel Hinata?" Guy finally spoke up speaking to Hinata who was still crying silently.

She looked up in surprise, quickly wiping at her eyes. "I uh… I feel better now, I think Karin is right…I shouldn't have tried to kill myself, I was stupid and….I'm sorry." The last part of that statement was focused at Karin, as Hinata made sure to turn her grey eyes to the red head and bowed her head apologetically. "And thank you." She added.

Karin jaw dropped a bit, the angered expression she had before dropping briefly before she caught herself and re asserted her glaring crossing her arms and turning away with a stuck up "Hmph." For added effect.

"I think the yelling is just her way of showing you that she cares, I knew someone who was like that once." The last member of our small group Haku spoke up. Haku was a strange girl, very quiet but always had a genuine smile on her face, she had starting using because her boyfriend has told her too, and she ended up strung out with him. He ended up dying of an overdose, and she checked herself into rehab soon after.

"Please." Karin scoffed

"Ok that's our time for the day guys, we'll meet up the day after tomorrow, so that we can really get into things, try to get closer to each other, your all in this together now, whether you like it or not. One day you may have to use the shoulder of the person next to you to cry on. Don't alienate yourself." I looked to my left and then to my right, Haku was on my left and Kiba on my right, I couldn't see myself confiding in either of them and I damn sure didn't see myself even attempting to deal with their problems. I had enough on my plate as it was without taking on their issues. "Anyway, see you guys Thursday." With that Guy stood up and strolled out.

"I fucking hate that guy." Karin let out once he was gone, a scowl still on her face.

"I think he's nice, he was very helpful in his own way, and you were too." Hinata spoke up shyly. I gave her a look only to see that she was looking at Karin with shy admiration. Was this girl insane?

"Hey. What was your name again?" Kiba spoke up on my right; I turned to him but didn't answer right away just staring at him. He had this grin on his face, and I didn't like it. The fuck was he smiling about. "Yuya right?" He filled once I didn't give him an answer.

"It's Tayuya." Haku spoke up for me, that smile still plastered on her face, she noticed that I had turned to her and her smile only widened, her eyes closing and her head tilting a bit. And I wanted to hate her for being so cheery and answering for me, but she just looked so damned nice, how could I snap at someone like that?

"Isn't that what I said?" Kiba asked, not missing a beat, he moved his char a bit so that he was in front of Haku and I making a triangle.

"You said Yuya, it's Tayuya." Haku answered gently, patiently.

"Oh, whatever, I'm pretty sure she doesn't give a shit, or she would have said something right?" Kiba asked, he shot me another smirk before returning his gaze to Haku, in time for him to miss the glare I shot him back.

"Well maybe she didn't want to be difficult, she seems very quiet." Haku answered before turning to me. "Are you ok? You were the first to speak up but now you're so quiet, you aren't feeling sad are you." She asked. Still smiling always smiling.

I looked from her to Kiba briefly, his grin had feel as he too waited for my answer. Why was the spotlight on me again? I didn't even fucking say anything and now once again I'm the center of attention, I had half a mind to just ignore these two and keep to myself, but then Guy's words floated back into my head

_"Don't alienate yourself"_

Fucker!

I looked passed Kiba too Hinata and Karin and noticed they were still talking, Karin still had that scowl it had lessoned noticeably and she was responding to Hinata, openly. Hell she looked like she was happy to have someone to talk too. If queen bitch could open up, why couldn't I?

Why couldn't I have been approached with an easier question? How do I feel? Sad was the least of my emotional distress, I was sad all the time, when I wasn't angry. Haku had to know that right? She was going through it too, she had to be. But she was smiling….Maybe that was just how she dealt with it all.

"How I feel?" I tried slowly, trying to keep the confusion out of my voice. I failed. Haku nodded slowly her face brightening even more at the sound of my voice.

"Hey I almost forgot you could talk!" Kiba said comically and I shot him a glare, which this time he didn't miss. "Sorry!" He amended quickly still grinning.

"Shut up."

"Just saying you went all mute on us, and….."

"Well excuse me for wanting some time to think."

"Well you could have told me that Yuya!"

"Tayuya." Haku corrected gently still smiling.

"I can speak for myself Haku!"

"Yea now you can! But two minutes ago you had no problem with her speaking for you, you sure do change gears a lot Yuya."

"Shut up! And its Tayuya only friends call me Yuya." I grumbled crossing my arms.

"Well then let's be friends." Kiba stated simply with a confident grin on his face.

"What?" I asked dubiously, what kind of person just randomly says things like that?

"I think that sounds amazing." Haku spoke up.

"Don't encourage him. Please."

"Come on Yuya you allergic to friendship or something? Lighten up, would you rather just be alone your entire time here?"

No I didn't, I really didn't want to be alone, not anymore. When I was using, I usually did so alone, and when I did have guest, they weren't real friends they were just people to get high with nothing more.

I sighed heavily

"I'll take that as a no; c'mon what do you have to lose Yuya?"

"It's Tayuya!"

"Nu uh, you said friends can call you Yuya and guess what we are?"

"Ugh I hate you already." I muttered placing my face in my hands.

To my left I heard Haku's left ring out and despite myself I had to smile a bit, her laughter sounded so pure and just made me feel happy, so much so that I had to laugh myself, our laughter was soon joined by Kiba, and we laughed for a while, before chatting some more. After we talked for a bit, Haku reproached her previous question

"Tayuya, how do you feel?"

"I'm ok, and please. Call me Yuya."

**A/N: **Had loads of fun with this one, and sorry for the wait. I hope it was worth it.

Thanks for the reviews once again guys and please keep giving them to my cause I need them to live. For real I do! HONEST!

Anyway please tell me what you think and thank you for reading.

P.s yes Haku is a girl in this story….got a problem with it? Come fight me bro!


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